take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
