Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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