I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
