After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
