Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Randomize