Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
