oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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