I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
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And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
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I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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