Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
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I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
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If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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