i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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