Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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