The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
She's the barista slut.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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