Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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