Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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