The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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