this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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