I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
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