I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
