Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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