I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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