if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
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