Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Your cock deserves a montage
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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