community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
