WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
