he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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