Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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