it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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