i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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