the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Randomize