hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
honey bunches of taint.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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