god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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