My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
