i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize