He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
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