maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
