Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
false alarm, still single
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