It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
