At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
you had me at cake vodka
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
