Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
