It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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