FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
it was like eating out sand paper
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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