My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
