I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
