just tell him i said nine months
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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