I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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