im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
