About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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