I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
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But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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