I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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