Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
