return my video game
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
