WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
There r osticjed everywhere
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
