whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize
