Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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