I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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