I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
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Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
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Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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