CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
soo... how was my night?
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