Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
