i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
